The Bridge is Gone

Five years ago as I sat in dr. b’s class, I kept noticing the NYMG sticker on the back of her laptop. I had no idea what it meant, and I was too shy to ask. I learned a lot in that class, and by the end of the semester, I knew what all about NYMG, and I did a couple of terrible (on my part) podcasts. Three years ago, I joined NYMG as a blogger and podcaster, and it’s one of the most important parts of both my professional and personal lives. I believe in the mission and goals of NYMG. I always have. This isn’t a story about how I was “indoctrinated” in college. I’ve been fighting against racism, sexism, and homophobia my entire life. But, NYMG gave me a place where I could have discussions with people who do not always agree with me but who have the same goals and hopes. These are the things I’m holding on to this week.

This has obviously been a rough week. I’m still tearing up just trying to write about it. I’ve spent the last couple of days in thought. In many ways, I can see how we got here, but I can’t see a way out of it. Many people on social media are calling for us to “build a bridge” and to “listen” to the other side. But, I’ve been trying to do that. It fails every time. I’ve seen a lot of the left shaming the left for ignoring the class issue. And, maybe there is something to that. People having a way to make a living and support themselves and their families is important to me, too. I came from the working class, and for most of my life I’ve been the working poor. But, I don’t think we can build the bridge on the narrative of class or on the assumption that people voted for Trump because of jobs. Some did. I’ve talked to some about it. But, that is not the dominant narrative I’ve seen both online and in my personal interactions. Instead, what I’ve seen is Republicans proudly talking about how hard-working they are and how liberals just need to “get a job” and quit being “lazy.” I’m not saying jobs aren’t an important issue that we need to talk about, they are. But, I don’t see where the bridge can be built here because the narrative seems to be that they have bootstrapped it up.

I’m also seeing a lot of glee surrounding the “end of political correctness.” I almost didn’t want to write about my grief because that seems to just be fueling the fire the narrative that we are somehow weak. We are not weak, but the comments and narratives I’ve read have been largely cruel and heartless. Beyond the end of PC, I see the more horrifying actual threats and harassment against the people Trump insulted repeatedly throughout his campaign. I always thought of political correctness as respect and compassion for others. I don’t see how that respect and compassion hurts someone else’s rights or civil liberties. Maybe the argument is that women and minorities are taking the jobs. But, that’s, again, not really what I’m seeing. Instead I see arguments against abortion, against birth control, against sex (and, in some cases, arguments for rape). I’m seeing Mexicans being called “things,” and renewed bathroom conversations.So, I can’t see the bridge being built here either. If you need me to make compromises on my own rights, the rights and safety of the people I love, and the further criminalization of people of color, there is no bridge.

So, I’ve felt pretty lost for the last week. I’m not surprised at the level of racism or sexism, but it’s left me a bit hopeless. The conversation feels impossible because it often is. But, I’ve had marginal success in my life by being persistent. I can point to at least a handful of people in my life who have become more and more willing to listen. So that is where I see a place to start, even if it’s still a long, long way from a bridge. I will work to start conversations in real life. We are often in an echo chamber, especially on social media, but I will persist. I will hold on to the community here at NYMG, and I’m seeing more community building online and in my own community. I see the work we do here as more important than ever, and hopefully we will see more people who are willing to join the fight in whatever way they can.